I have a teenage vampire-related confession...

From N.

I'm entranced with teenage drama. I have this terrible addiction to teen tv shows, good (Friday Night Lights, Veronica Mars, Gossip Girl and don't you dare argue otherwise) and bad (Laguna Beach, NYC Prep). I can't wait to see the new Harry Potter movie and am contemplating re-reading the "Half-Blood Prince."

So, yeah, I've been reading the "Twilight" series too. I'm finally on the fourth book "Breaking Dawn." Stephenie Meyer's writing style tormented me just enough that it has taken awhile, although I admire her gift for narrative.
But the really scary thing about the vampire book is how much the Forks-based series has gotten into my head about that area of Washington state. When I drove through Port Angeles to get to Lake Crescent for a June camping trip, the visions in my head were not the gorgeous scenery or area author Raymond Carter, but rather vampire Edward and teenage Bella. Edward saving Bella from assault in the mean streets of Port Angeles. Edward and Bella eating at a Port Angeles Italian restaurant. Edward speeding Bella back to Forks on Highway 101. Visions of Twilight fanatics invading the quiet town of Forks. Bella and Jacob out at La Push on the beach.

I've gone completely mad.

I'm wrapped up in the final book. The plot is pretty intense and the book is keeping me up late at night. But this is the last we shall speak of this. Until my next trip to the OP.

I watched Jillian send away the wrong guy on the Bachelorette...

From N.

Jillian, no no no no no no no. No.

Not Reid. I heart Reid. A lot. I didn't used to, but I do now. You picked boring, semi-reliable Kiptyn over risky Reid? Aren't you on this show to take a chance? How can you let us all down like that?

Clearly, I had a favorite. Although I have a history of dubbing the person who just left my favorite. I really mean it this time.

And Reid made her laugh. Sure, the guy is emotionally stunted, but he really tried so hard, and they had real chemistry and a vibe that I don't see with the other two. He blamed himself in the limo for not opening up more, as he should. He should have told her he was willing to take a chance. But I also blame Jillian for playing it safe. She kept Wes for this long but dumps Reid? For shame.

This week's fantasy dates took place in Hawaii, and we started off with Kiptyn. He is just utterly boring to me. They're awkward physically, namely when they kiss. He encouraged her on the ropes course and that reassured her, but I don't feel like he challenges her at all. It's effort for him to keep up with her. Plus his lack of vulnerability is not authentic and not interesting. I think he might be more emotionally behind than Reid and just less honest about it.

The date with Reid was adorable. He was so straight with her. He told her he wasn't good at expressing emotion. "I'm like 4. I like you. I like you this much." It melted my heart. She said he's the guy she relates to the most. They have obvious physical chemistry. He was not convincing when she asked him if he was ready to propose, and he said, "Maaaybe?" I know waiting around could easily be a mistake, but when looking at the options left, it really just seems wrong to me.

As for Ed, I've grown disenchanted. He's trying so hard and I can't figure out why. He "flew" his parents out to Hawaii, which thrilled Jillian. He thinks Jillian will balance out his life, though I personally think that's Ed's own work, not her responsibility. Ed might also have had the most horrifying moment in Bachelorette history when it was clear he had some performance issues and the two didn't have sex in the fantasy suite. "I couldn't really show her I really loved her" is not very discrete code. Jillian was nicer and said that they wanted to fall asleep instead of follow other "instincts." She even took him aside at the rose ceremony to discuss it. Talking about your virility on national television? Most Mortifying Moment Ever in Ed's life to date.

But Reid got the boot. Jillian seemed torn but I really think it was the wrong decision. She'll regret it. He doesn't see her being happy with either of those guys. I agree.

I watched Jillian the Bachelorette get rid of...

From N.

WOOOOHOOOOOO!!!!!

Ahem. So I'm not at my most articulate. But is there any other way to express the relief that Wes is gone? Jillian proved what every girl knows about giving advice: you can talk until you're blue in the face, but until she decides on her own that the guy is a combination ass/slimeball/worstpersononearth, you can't do anything to change her mind. Jillian had to experience cold, sleazy, inept Wes fumbling with his lies before she finally came around.

This all had to happen in romantic Spain. I was deeply envious. Jillian flitted around first with Reid, who is warming up his dear, neurotic little heart. Jillian is pretty good at pumping the guys for information, and though Reid bumbled a bit expressing himself, it's obvious he really likes her. Whether that translates into her rather ridiculous expectation to get engaged at the end (has she paid attention to the show's track record?), it's unclear, but Reid was sweet and opened up. They're both bubbly people, and their food shopping expedition was ridiculous. He makes her laugh. Points to Reid.

Kiptyn I find slightly dry. Although Jillian is head over heels, and also, again, talked about how he's too good for her, I don't feel the same way. He's not quite as fun-loving as he ought to be, although the escargot moment was adorable.

Ed is back, and trying to gain back ground through kissing. Although Jillian seemed very happy on that count. They kissed a lot and for a moment in a public fountain, I thought we were going to get an unplanned wet T-shirt contest. Ed said he wanted kids soon. Dust off your hands and call it done.

And then there was Wes. I think he's officially the most disingenuous person to ever be on the Bachelorette and that's saying something. He was distant from her, and they were awkward during the date. Under questioning, she figured out he really did come on for his music. Then he had the cojones to say they should do the overnight fantasy suite. Whatevs Wes.

I already thought he was out of control at the rose ceremony, where he joked to the guys he'd be home having lots of sex. I'm sure the other three wanted to smack him. But the rejected limo ride was unbelievable. Crowing about being the only guy to ever make it to the Top 4 with a girlfriend? Talking about how he got what he needed? Snipping off the chains to party in Spain one more night? There's always a villain but he wins the prize.

Also, is Jillian the first Bachelorette to ever refuse that many guys for the fantasy suite? Perhaps she did learn her lesson. I was surprised when she turned down Kiptyn, then she followed up by turning them all down, except for the clothes-on overnight with Ed. Probably smart, but still weird.

I hope it doesn't get boring now that Wes is gone. Ed's still my fave, but Reid's gaining.

And fashion note: I loved her yellow shoes and splashes of color in general in her outfits, but she overdid the structured blouses. One was enough.

I watched Ed come back to the Bachelorette...

From N.

I'm exceptionally behind on last week's Bachelorette, which was definitely the most dramatic and revealing one so far. Ed is back! Michael is adorable! Wes is a slimeball! Jake has lost it! (Dude is wound tighter than my sparking Nunzilla wind-up doll.)

Let's start at the beginning. So this was the hometown trips. I'm not sure how Jillian finagled five, but it was more entertaining for us. Jillian, I hate to break it to you, but Reid is just not that into you. He didn't seem excited at all when she showed up for the date, kissing her reluctantly. His family seemed thrilled Reid liked somebody and was publicly affectionate, but that seemed all Jillian to me. Either Reid or Wes will get the boot on the next episode, and if I'm wrong, all faith in Jillian is gone. But more on that later.

This episode was the first one where I really fell for Michael. It started when he surprised his family and jumped up and down in place, continued when he tried to trick her by switching clothes with his idential twin, and was cemented when he and his family danced with her in the living room. I knew they would never make it and his heartfelt speech when he was sent home broke the hearts of every girl watching. You know you love him.

Jillian is way too intimidated by Kiptyn. I am befuddled by her insecurity around him, although his family has a house that seems straight out of Laguna Beach. Kiptyn seems like a sweet guy and pretty easy to hang out with. His family was pretentious with the lasagna and wine test, but I thought the caution tape around the hot tub was hilarious. His mom's honesty was refreshing, but Jillian is just insecure around him. Still, Kiptyn is a frontrunner.

I almost forgot about Jesse. The trip to the vineyard was not memorable. I only recall his brother, who freaked me out. I was sure he would start hitting on Jillian. Once the brother described Jesse as an emotional ice cube, he was toast.

Then there's Wes. OF COURSE his band played for her. I always forget how much she loves the honky-tonk, so that explains some of the attraction. But honestly, he's a sleaze, a player and more slimy words than I can think of right now. I suppose he's her bad boy. But ugh, couldn't she at least have picked a cute one? And then Jake returned to out Wes and his girlfriend Laurel, which is far too specific not to be true. Jillian ignored her gut instinct on this one for no apparent reason other than attachment to Wes it seems like. His family claimed people try to do this to Wes all the time. Maybe it's because Wes lies his way through life? Then she STILL kept him. It's beyond any reasonable explanation.

As for Ed's return, Reality Steve, how do you always know? Although people who shall not be named already revealed that to me before I watched it, I was still happy to see him. He seemed rather stiff and coached, but he's the cutest and matches Kiptyn in sincerity. She kept him and that's what counts.

But my admiration for Jillian took a real beating. I once viewed her as this really happy, down to earth, secure girl. But she kept asking all the parents if she was the guy's "type" and also asked the guys that question. And like most insecurity, it makes her less attractive. She said she has a history of not being adored, which to me means she hasn't been confident enough to ask for it. It made me less sure of her ability to pick a good person in the end. Oh wait, already accomplished with Wes! Never mind. I am still curious to see what she does in the end and if it will really work. Ed and Kiptyn, I'm still rooting for you two. And still kind of can't wait to see what Wes will do next.

I watched Wes stay on the Bachelorette...

From N.

Forgive me for the tardy post.

I can't believe Robby got kicked off the train. It's one thing to get booted by the Bachelorette. It's another to have an entire train stop so it can unload you like that day's trash. I never dug Robby, but he deserved better.

Moving on. So on this episode, Jillian takes the guys on a private train ride (yeah, I know I'm falling for ABC phrasing everything as if Jillian actually planned it) from Vancouver to Banff. She ditches Robby early and then parcels out a snowshoe date with the rest of the guys and has a solo date with Reid, who is beyond neurotic about raw meat and fondue. Get over it. Oh, and Tanner drops his pants. ABC fuzzed out most of it, but apparently he is blessed. But he loves feet, so really, I don't care. Tanner has outlived his usefulness.

This episode was strangely boring except for Wes. And the Wes scandal is getting old. Yes, he's on the show to sell records. Yes, Jillian is blind and doesn't see Wes is a liar. Yes, Wes is soooo obvious. But I can't believe she kept Michael over Jake for the hometown dates. Break dancing Michael is sweet, endearing and beyond puppy-ish in his adoration for Jillian. Why not give handsome, "perfect" Jake a chance to prove he can open up a bit and be more normal than his perfect self? I know it's getting a little cloying, but come on Jillian, you like Michael better?

Isn't it usually just four people get hometown dates? How did it grow to five? Have I forgotten the ways of the Bachelor(ette)?

Also if you like to get your reality theory on, check out realitysteve.com. He has a scandalous theory (stop reading now if you hate spoilers!) that producers set it up for Ed to leave and then come back because Jillian liked him the most. I'm not much of a conspiracy theorist, but I would LOVE it if Ed returned. I just don't like the rest of the guys as much. And for more insight - and occasional posturing - read Chris Harrison's EW blog here.

I watched Ed leave the Bachelorette...

From N.

K is in the throes of wedding week, and I have not been picking up the slack. But I promise to post soon about topics other than the Bachelorette.

But for now, the Bachelorette. (I'm addicted, leave me alone.)

Ed, I heart Ed. And I would have called him an idiot if he hadn't left, though Jillian at least advised him to one day should remember to put love before work.

Then Jillian let herself wallow, wondering what was wrong with her. Snap to it, Jilly. Look at the odds. The guy basically had no choice. Smart Ed. Sad Jilly. And sad N.

Now that he's gone, I feel morose. Jillian had a great date with winemaker Jesse, who is now a frontrunner along with Kiptyn. I can't imagine her picking anyone else beside Kiptyn, but the producers have certainly tricked me before. And I really don't like the rest of the bunch. She clearly regards breakdancing Michael as a little brother with no heat or passion. Reid doesn't do it for me, and perfect Jake looks less and less like a match the longer the show goes. While for her sake, I hope Jake outlasts Tanner and Wes, I can't imagine how boring the show could possibly get if those two leave. All I have to live for is Kiptyn and Jesse? It's gonna be a long finale.

Fashion commentary: I really disliked her green satin dress tonight. I disliked the shiny satinness of it, I disliked the ruched folds and I disliked the mermaid shape. Jillian has been a bit up and down on the fashion. I adored last week's gold mini dress. It was hot and looked great on her. But she also sometimes shows up on outfits that I question. Tonight's was the worst.

I watched the Bachelorette take Vancouver ....

From N.

Jillian had her hands full tonight. I felt bad for the girl. Until now, she seemed really grounded and perceptive, but I can't blame a girl for being starry eyed about a guy who wrote a song for her. Even if he is smarmy.

This week's cliffhanger was supposed to be a big reveal of the guy(s) with a girlfriend. But when confronted, nobody *cough, Wes* stepped forward at the rose ceremony. Poor Tanner of foot fetish fame got the brunt of it by coming forward and saying someone had a girlfriend. The foot thing really bugged me last week, but I liked his honesty and felt sorry for him as he worried the guys would know he did the ratting.

But there was plenty of other fun as Jillian took the guys to her hometown of Vancouver. She had a lovely kayaking and cooking date with Kipton, who I like more all the time. Jake has been a frontrunner to me, but she had a weird discussion with him about his "too perfect" status. Jake reminds me of heartthrob Bachelor Travis, who remains in a neck-and-neck race with Andrew Firestone as my favorite bachelors. Since when is too perfect bad? But it does put a kink in Jake's early lead.

Much was made in previews of the confrontation about the girlfriend situation, but in the end no one confessed. *Cough, Wes.* At least Jillian was smart to send the contractors home. Goodbye a**hole Dave. His arrogance and aggressiveness did not bode well. Juan, we hardly knew ya but it was already too much.

And Wes remains, so we are still guaranteed some drama. I don't want Jillian's heart totally broken, but the Bachelorette would not be interesting if drama-free. And there's a lot of crying next week, and I really, really, really want to know why.

For now, Ed is my favorite, maybe because he reminds me so much of Denny from "Grey's Anatomy." Jake and Kipton also are my top contenders, though Jesse is coming on strong. Am I forgetting someone? Who do you like?

I watched the Bachelorette...

From N.

I'm finally caught up on the Bachelorette, thanks to some extreme peer pressure. I may even be back every week. (Even though Jillian isn't from here, I'm milking that Kirkland connection.) Here's a recap of what we've got so far on Jillian and her men.

The Bachelorette is turning into The Amazing Race. Last week, the guys had to scramble to find Jillian using clues, and the scene even included the obligatory driving-madly-around-a-city shots. I almost expected to see Phil Keoghan at the end.

Then this week, Ed and Jillian landed in a helicopter on the top of a very tall building with ropes stretching from the roof to the ground and I forgot which channel I was on. I always fall for the guys on the solo dates. Ed was adorable. And I understand his fear of heights, although I still don't understand the "activity" involved in being lowered from the top of a building to the ground on a rope. It didn't seem to involve any effort on Ed or Jillian's part, but I kind of like the synergy. Oh, right, The Amazing Race is on CBS.

Jillian's dates this week also included a photo shoot at a car museum with Sasha and "acting" on a cowboy set. I am over "acting" out a television show or movie on group dates, but Jillian has had some fun dates so far, including a honky tonk one with Jake, that are better than past Bachelors or Bachelorettes. I attribute it to her spunky personality. Her kissing spree has been surprising, but I'm surprisingly OK with it. High five Jillian!

And then there's David. And Juan. And Tanner and his foot fetish. Shudder. I suppose boring must go first. Goodbye Brad. David's testosterone is out of control. He wants too much to beat up Juan. Though I sort of want to beat up Juan. I can't decide if they should fight. OK, yes, they should.

I'm rooting for Ed and hot pilot Jake and can't remember anybody else's name. What say you?